Tuesday, 24 September 2013

Saying goodbye to the children....

Hey hey hey!

How are we all?
This week has been pretty much the same which is why I have not written a new post! I want to keep this blog as interesting as possible therefore I will only write new posts when I have experienced or seen something new or if I have I have any thoughts I would like to share with you all.

This Friday, 20th September, was the day the schools closed for Half Term. During the school holidays, the children living at Saint Anthony’s stay with family members or foster families as this allows the children not only to see family members but also to experience that loving family environment. Therefore on Friday I had to say goodbye to most of the children. About 10 of the children have stayed here as they only joined Saint Anthony’s less than two weeks ago which is not enough time to find appropriate family members or a foster family to look after them.
Therefore on Friday at about 12 pm, the minivan and the two larger cars were loaded (to the max!) with the children and their bags... There doesn’t seem to be a law about how many passengers you can have in a car here in South Africa! Each of the cars were going in different directions, I went into Mlondi’s car (social worker at Saint Anthony’s and also the person who picked me up from the airport when I arrived!) who was going to the nearby townships and then Dundee, which is a town about 45 mins away. By joining Mlondi, I was able to see more of the nearby townships, where some of the children will be living as well as spend a bit more time with Sindi. She had come to me earlier on that day whilst I was in the office to say goodbye and she was very tearful. When I asked why, she said she is going to miss me over the holidays. It was hard to see her like that as she is normally very smiley and bubbly. I had a huge lump in my throat L I gave her my number and told her to call me whenever she wanted a chat during the holidays. She was a lot better afterwards. Sindi and her sister Mbali (she is 16 and also lives at Saint Anthony’s) are spending their half term with their older sister as their mother unfortunately passed away. The township where they live is only a 15 minute drive away but it has no electricity but this doesn't matter to Sindi, she still “loves this place”. I could see she was happy to be home. Her family actually have two houses; a small one which is where her older sister stays and a larger one. I am unsure why this is or who stays in the bigger house. I didn't have time to ask her those questions but will do so when she comes back. I will let you know what she says.

After dropping Sindi and Mbali home, we went back to Saint Anthony’s for some lunch and to pick up the remaining 6 children who still needed to be taken to their families. One of them was Slindo, she is the oldest girl in Saint Anthony’s, we get on really well. She could have gone home on Wednesday already however her care worker, Mam Hlobi, didn’t allow it. I am unaware of the reason why she couldn’t leave but Slindo was not happy and the fact that she was one of the last kids to be dropped off on Friday did not make her any happier (as I am sure you can understand!). She spent one night with her cousin in a township near Dundee and then headed for Johannesburg the following day, where she will be staying with her older sister for the duration of the holiday. She was extremely happy about seeing her sisters and getting away. She is 18 years old now and it is clear that she wants to be independent and has had enough of being treated like a child. I think this is understandable as she is living with 14 and 16 year olds therefore she has to obey the same rules for example wake up at 4 am, go to school at 7:30 am, have dinner at 6:30 pm and be in bed by 8:30 pm). After the long summer holidays in December (what we have in July/August), she unfortunately will not be returning to Saint Anthony’s L

After dropping Slindo off, we made our way to Dundee. One child was dropped off at a Medical clinic and the other four were dropped off at their aunt’s home. There are a lot of siblings at Saint Anthony’s and although they may live in different cottages whilst staying at the Home, they stay with the same family during the holidays, no matter how many siblings this might be. A good example of this is the 4 Mkhize siblings (Mbekezeli, Philiswa, Sbonelo and Sphamandla) we dropped off in Dundee. Their aunt is unemployed and has her own four children to look after, which she struggles to do. Despite all this, she still wants all four of them to stay with her. Saint Anthony has provided her with food parcels for the week however the social workers have told me it will help her but it is still not enough. I asked if there were any other relatives with whom the four of them could stay and their answer was “She is the only one that seems to care”. I was shocked by his answer... how can you not care about your own family, your own blood?!? This means their aunt is Saint Anthony’s only hope however the lack of money means she cannot take them on permanently. There are government grants available for cases like these; these are 700 Rand per child per month (approx £47), this helps but again they aren’t enough. Additionally getting the government to agree to pay is a difficult and a lengthy process. So on one hand you have family members who could provide for these children but who simply do not want to and on the other, you have an aunt who wants to give her sister’s children the loving family environment they deserve but she simply cannot afford it. It is heart breaking. But one thing is for sure, the four Mkhizes have each other and that will never change. The love between siblings here is the strongest I have ever seen it, not just at a young age but through the whole duration of their lives (I have met the siblings of some of the care workers at Saint Anthony’s and they are still very close). This may be because many lose their parents at a young age or because they need each other to survive therefore often live together or it may simply be their culture. However the reason is irrelevant, the love they have for their brother or sister is the sort of love we should all be showing and having for our own siblings but often don’t... Let’s change that now rather than wait for something drastic to happen before we realise how much we love our sisters or brothers...

On that note, I send you all a hug (whether I know you or not!)

Isabel x




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